Self Torture

Why did I decide to quit drinking at one of the most stressful times in my life?  This is the question I keep asking myself.  You could say I like a good challenge.  Or you could say I'm a glutton for punishment.  Either works. 

I started the Tracy Anderson 30 day method 10 days ago.  I stopped drinking to do the method.  In fact, all I'm drinking is water.  No caffeine, no alcohol...just plain ol' h20.  The first two days I thought my head was going to explode from the massive headache I had.  But it went away.  Last Saturday I wanted to drink in a bad way but talked myself out of it.  The Conversation in my head went something like this:

Devil:  Just one glass of wine won't hurt.  You've been so good all week.
Angel: No.  You made a commitment to 30 days - no alcohol.
Devil:  Meh...its been, like, 8 days already.  One drink won't hurt. 
Angel: There are a lot of other things to do besides drink.
Devil: Anything you want to do would be so much better with a glass of wine.
Angel: Wine is just extra calories. You don't want extra calories do you?
Devil: Ok, scrap the wine and have some vodka. 
Angel: Vodka is just as bad. 
Devil: Vodka is practically like drinking water.  Its clear.
Angel: Vodka is NOT like water and you know it!

Long story short, the Angel on my shoulder won.  Mainly because I couldn't fathom doing my 2 hour workout hungover.

The Tracy Anderson Method is good.  I like the work outs.  The most challenging thing is the food.  You have to prepare EVERYTHING from scratch.  I have probably eaten more fresh fruit and fish in the last 10 days than I did all last year.  This diet is not for the poor either.  I think they know me by first name at whole foods. My former drinking money is now going to purchase things like leeks, beets, shallots, cod, salmon, etc...

My friend had a birthday Tuesday so I stopped off to get her some Sprinkles cupcakes. (further evidence that I am into self torture)  It crossed my mind to eat the whole box as I drove to work but I restrained myself.  To make it worse I didn't go out to celebrate with her because I'm not drinking.  I thought to myself, this is the worst, most terrible idea I have ever come up with.  On Tuesday, I dreamt about cupcakes and vodka (in no particular order).

On top of all of this, I'm trying to buy a house before the end of the year and keep my job from spinning out of control.  Just pile it on...

But now its Thursday...and the two week mark is in sight.  I have a feeling if I can make it to Sunday I will have won the battle for the most part.  I'm tired but I feel like my body is getting a much needed break from my bad habits.  I woke up yesterday morning and my liver had written me a thank you note.  Ok not really but I feel like it would if it could.