It's almost that time again...

Chili cookoff is tomorrow and this is the 3rd year for Team No Beans MF. We've upgraded to professional shirts this year designed by yours truly:

And the winning recipe is on that white sheet of paper:

You know what they say about the 3rd time?  It's'a the charm. 

Chili Cook-off Confidential

I learned a dirty secret at the chili cook off a couple of weeks ago.  Let me start by saying, It was a good time and I worked very hard on my chili.  The way I cook it is simple - I come up with my very own base recipe and the day of, I tweak it depending on how its tasting.  So this involves a lot of sampling and adding ingredients as necessary.  I was very happy with my finished product.  Here is a pic of me hard at work (notice the sign that says, "badass chili located here"):

So anyway, as we were awaiting the results of the chili cook-off, my friends and I started talking to a group of men proclaiming they were this year's winners.  The results had not yet been announced.  Sure enough, this group ended up taking 1st, 2nd, 4th, and a few other places all in the top 10.  So what is the dirty secret?  According to these guys, they use a mix purchased off the internet.  Each one of them does a little something different to their pot of chili so the judges don't taste the exact same thing.  Yet the judges ARE tasting the exact same chili mix with only minor differences.  I was informed by the winners, the way to win chili cook-offs is consistency and the best way to be consistent is a mix.  

I have to admit, I was disheartened by this bit of news.  I thought the whole point was to come up with an original recipe.  I think using a mix defeats the spirit of the competition.  But what do I know?  These guys were going to the competition in Terlingua so obviously they are doing something right.  Still, I cannot, CANNOT, bring myself to use a mix in the next competition.  It just doesn't feel right.

At the end of the day, we made it to the finalist table and got an honorable mention for our chili submission.  I consider this a moral victory - since I DID NOT USE A MIX.  I was incredibly excited we made it that far.  Much better results than last year. One day, I will claim victory at the State Fair Chili Cook-off!

Now here is a picture of the pumpkin I painted for our front porch  ( I actually did this by hand):

Fall is in the air and its almost chili cook-off time!

Tonight I start my graphic design program at SMU.  I'm really excited about it, although I don't think I will be able to finish it as quickly as I thought.  Unfortunately, our house needs foundation work.  (I'm still not sure if this matter is going to result in a lawsuit so I can't say too much about my bitterness on the subject.)  As of right now its going to cost us quite a bit of money so I will be shelling out for that instead of completing school in a timely manner.  Sigh.  Oh well - at least I'm getting started - and starting school is a sure sign of fall.

Also, pinterest and several blogs I follow are all abuzz with fall decorating.  Wreaths seem to be quite popular with the home decorating set (see here and here).  I've decided to get in on the wreath action this weekend since I can't do other things to my home (like painting or redoing the fireplace - again thanks to the necessary foundation work.  boooooo!)  I'm feeling rather crafty so this is probably a good time to get my front porch looking nice.   I also feel like baking to I think I'm going to make homemade cinnamon rolls on Saturday. 

Sunday is the State Fair of Texas Chili Cook-off.  Yes, Team "No Beans MF" is back!  And this time we are in it to win it.  I learned a lot last year regarding the "rules" so I'm ready to make some badass chili and take home the blue ribbon.  I also talked to my brother, Mark, who knows everything about everything.  We had a 2 hour strategy session with regard to my chili making - such as when to add certain spices and other top secret things I can't tell you about.  

My friend decided she wanted to get in on the chili making this year so we had a mini chili cook-off at the office.  Her chili was excellent.  My chili got more votes.  She was EXTREMELY bitter about not winning (can you say competitive?) and took it out on everyone in the office for a day or two.  I think she's over it now and on board for Sunday's competition.  She can't resist eating chili and drinking beer on a Sunday morning. No matter what, we will still have fun.  We always do.

Looking back at this post, It appears I have a very ambitious weekend ahead of me!  Stay tuned for the State Fair Chili Cook-off Results.  I can't wait to post a pic with my blue ribbon!

State Fair Chili Cook-off Part 3: Lets Cook Some MF-ing Chili!

Ok well I know all of my readers have been waiting with bated breath to learn the results of the chili cook off. In case you're busy and don't want to read this whole post I'll tell you straight off: we didn't win. But that doesn't mean my chili wasn't BADASS. Apparently I was in violation of a few "rules" that will be discussed in detail below.

We finally decided on a Team Name and I finished the shirts the night before:







I loaded up my Jeep and headed over to pick up my friend Jennifer.  Our team was downsized considerably when people were told that we had to be out there at 8:00 am.  It was just as well because the Jeep was full!








 

We drove around Fair Park lost for about 20 minutes.  For those of you unfamiliar with the Fair Park area (like myself), it can be quite confusing.  There are street names inside the park but not any "official/legal" street names that will show up on the handy dandy iPhone (not that it isn't a stellar product - RIP Steve Jobs).  We spotted some golf carts and figured this was where we needed to be. (The rules said officials would be driving around in golf carts to check on us periodically).  I snapped a picture of one such cart.  Honestly I'm not quite sure what these ladies were thinking.  I guess they got tired of crocheting scarves and decided to keep their golf cart warm???

Anyway, we found a spot and it was set up time!  My friend bought this huge umbrella type thing to shield us from the sun.  Problem one:  It calls for stakes to be put in the ground to hold it down.  We were in a parking lot.  No going to work...

 This was my bright idea - Throwing it on the back of the Jeep!





This was her bright idea - Tying 1000 knots to hold it down.  This became problematic when it was time to break everything down and after 6+ beers...





I can't complain too much because her knots did the job.  The guys next to us were pretty cool.  They let me borrow their automatic lighter, like 10 times.  My dumbass brought matches and the wind was not cooperating.  They also shared a margarita with me at some point during the day.  It was pretty good.







My competition...






OK so the deal with the Chili: I was trying to make CASI Chili.  CASI stands for Chili Appreciation Society International, Inc.  One of the rules is no fillers.  Specifically it says:  "NO FILLERS IN CHILI - Beans, macaroni, rice, hominy, or other similar ingredients are not permitted."  So in reading this rule, I assume that things like onion and tomato are alright and had such items in my ingredient list.   I put the onions in my pot first thing to get them cooking.  This chick comes over, takes one look at my pot and the following conversation takes place:

Chick:   "I guess you're not making CASI chili."
Me:       "Actually, I am."
Chick:   "You can't have those onions in there..."
Me:       "I read the rules and it said no beans or macaroni.  I didn't see anything about onions."
Chick:    "Well, let me get one of the other officials to take a look and we'll just see..."

She goes to get one of the other officials who proceeds to tell me that although I don't have anything "illegal" in my pot, the onions must be rendered down to no bigger than my meat or else I won't score very high.  The chick gives me a smug look.  I thought to myself, OK, its like that.  I see how you people are. 

A neighbor two tents down tells me (after my chili is done, of course) that to win at CASI chili you have to have only meat, tomato sauce and spices.  That's NOT how I read the rulebook but whatever....

So this was the final product - my friend and I thought it was pretty tasty.  Do you see any MF-ing onions in there???





Another guy came over during the cooking process to ask me why I thought my chili was a winner.  My response:  "Because I'm BADASS, that's why."  I stand behind this statement and my chili.  Although next year, I'll play by THEIR rules and leave the onions out. 

Anyway, we had fun and drank a lot so that's all that mattered.  Here's my friend and our neighbors before they announced the results.  These guys named their team for a buddy of theirs who had passed away.  Very nice.





The Judging area.  Looks very official with that table lying on the ground, huh?  (I swear I'm not bitter.)






So at the end of the day we walked away with a Participation Ribbon, Two tickets to the Fair, a Parking Pass and some badass chili cooked by yours truly.  Not bad if you ask me.  Plus, there's always next year!

State Fair Chili Cook-off Part 2: Test Run

Well I got home later than I wanted last night so I decided to save the test run for today. Its best to start off the day with a good breakfast. Check out this little skillet I bought:




Isn't it cute? It holds one egg perfectly. I almost burned my egg taking this pic actually. The smoke alarm went off. Not a good omen.

Now to test out the costume I bought for Beans MF.



He obviously loves it! My little fat pumpkin!

Ok, NOW its time to break out the camp stove. The instructions seem overly complicated.



I'm going to steal a play from the Tao of Curtis and just figure it out as I go.

I spilled fuel everywhere as I filled up the tank. Luckily I have the hose close by to clean up my mess before I catch the house on fire. I figure maybe I should read the instructions after all so I give them a quick scan. Good thing too because I wouldn't have figured it out on my own.





Im ready to light it up!

12 tries later, I think I have fire but I can't see it so it's time to consult the google.

Google says this stove is basically like a Bunsen burner so I should have a low blue flame. Hm. Not exactly what i had going on. Enough with the stove for now. Time to chop some shit.

Here's my ingredients:





I get the stove going after only 1 try and the onions are in the pot! Time to add some meat.




Meat + a few dozen ingredients later and i have this simmering on the camp stove:



So far so good!! Now to let it cook for a bit... Is it too early for a beer? I think not!

After letting it simmer for 30 minutes, it's good but definitely needs more heat. I add some more chili powder, red pepper, paprika, and cayenne. Here is the final recipe (I think):





And here's the final product:






Now to work on the team shirts! State Fair Chili Cook Off, here we come!

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State Fair Chili Cook-off Part 1: Preparation

I've decided to compete in this years chili cook off! Very exciting!

I head to Wal-Mart to get some items for Sunday's event. Namely, fuel for my Coleman pump stove (on loan from one of my assistants, Pablo).

I'm on a mission for fuel but I'm immediately distracted by Halloween items. Ooooh! Dog Costumes. I need a costume for Beans MF anyway.



I liked the hot dog but its too obvious so I went with the pumpkin. He's going to love it!

Ok so fuel. Camping supplies here I come. Uh oh. Kitchen Gadget aisle is distracting me. I think I need something on this aisle to help with the chili.



I grab a measuring cup/spoon set that is only .88 cents! Ok now on to sporting goods.

Oh wait! I want this vacuum:





But not today because it's $500.

Luckily the lady just announced something about sporting goods on the intercom so I'm reminded of my fuel. Here's the stove I'm using:




But I don't see any fuel!!! Ugh!!!

Ok so I located the fuel. It was conveniently next to the stove.





Yes I just had a blonde moment. I thought that thing on the front of the stove was what the fuel came in but turns out that's just the tank. I'm dumb. :(

Ok so how long does one gallon of fuel last? Hm. I better get two since I'm doing a test run on my chili recipe tonight.

I have to make a quick call to see if I have a folding table at home. I really want to buy this Coleman pop up kitchen but it's $42.00. Hm. I'll pass this time. But if I win then I'm coming back to get it.

Now I need team shirts. I like purple so that's the one I pick. I've been here over an hour and haven't gotten food yet. I need mascara. I've been wanting to try the new one JLo has been advertising but I can't remember the name so I get my trusty lash blast**







Ok - Finally on to the groceries! I really just need meat and a couple of spices I'm low on at home.

2 hours later here's my basket:




I'm forgetting something. I just know it. I'm tired too. And hungry. Time to go.

Check out was quick. Now I'm on my way home to fire up the stove and give it a test run! More to come!

**ladies, I have tried EVERY mascara out there - expensive and cheap. This one is the best, I swear.