33

For my birthday on the 5th, I had this really ambitious plan to do 33 good deeds/random acts of kindness.   I would like to say it was my idea but I was actually inspired by another blogger who did it for her 34th birthday. With all the messed up stuff going on in the world, we all could use more kindness - both giving and receiving, no matter how big or small.  There were a couple of things I learned and a couple of problems I encountered.

First of all, when consulting http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/ I was disappointed to see ideas like "hold the door open for someone" and "clean up after yourself."  Seriously people, if you are not doing these things already something is wrong with you.  Maybe I was just raised with manners and some people weren't but if I didn't hold the door for someone or clean up after I made a mess I would be down right ashamed (and would have gotten a strict talking to by my parents).  Another one that got me was "Give affection to your loved ones."  What?  Really?  Maybe some people need to be reminded but that seems odd to me.  I do this all the time.  Its important to let people know how you feel.   I don't want you to be dissuaded from this website.  It has a lot of good ideas and implemented some of them.  All I'm saying is that I was surprised to see things I was raised to to on this list. 

Overall I was fairly successful in my mission until I was sidelined by a sudden illness I believe to be brought on by number 11.  No good deed goes unpunished!

Here's what I was able to accomplish on my birthday (remember, no kind act is too small):

1) Wished someone else a Happy Birthday

2) Wrote a thank you note to my postman (The postman wrote back a big THANKS!!! on the card.  This stuff works I'm telling you.)

3)  Paid for the starbucks order of the person behind me. (She yelled a thank you from her car.)

4)  Gave a donation to DFW Pug Rescue

5)  Shared some birthday cookies delivered to me with the work staff.

6)  Signed up for sparked.com - a micro volunteering website

7)  Signed up again this year to be an e-mentor for a DISD student (I was on the fence about it before)

8)  Gave a big tip to the sonic carhop when I got my drink today

9)  Stayed off my phone while driving (I think this counts because I made the roads a safer place, something I should do more often)

10) Gave up a front row parking spot to someone else.

11) Donated Blood (I have to give a shout out to the 23 year old girl who took my blood today and told me I did not look 33 at all.  She really made my day. I don't think she was faking her look of shock.  If so she should leave behind the blood drawing field and go into acting because I was convinced.)

12) Gave bottled water to a homeless person

13) Bought something from a co-worker to support her son's pewee football team. (I was on the verge of saying no to the $16 "gourmet" pizzas she was peddling but then I remembered I had to get to 33)

14) Emailed the girls at our process serving company a thank you note (some people over there are mistakenly "scared" of me)

15) Gave a friend some of my Green Tea Hawaii to try.  I drink this stuff everyday since I gave up soda 3 years ago.  I have a mission to get everyone off of soda!

16) Complimented a co-workers haircut

17) Nice to an Insurance Adjuster (This fell under the RAOK suggestion of "be nice to someone you dislike")

18) Complimented a stranger's shoes (They were actually cute)

19) Let my dad ride in the front seat to dinner so he could take advantage of the A/C seats in the new truck.

20)  Gave some free legal advice to a friend.

So I didn't quite make it to 33.  At dinner, I think my blood pressure dropped or something because I almost passed out and broke out into this cold sweat.  Probably because I was operating with minus a pint of blood (and OK I did have a skinny margarita and I don't think you're supposed to drink for like 24 hours after donating).  I'm fine now but had to go home and take it easy, thus putting an end to my mission.  I did give my dad a big hug and thank him for coming to have dinner with me.  I also took time to "like" or comment on the 90 something people that wished me a happy birthday on facebook - so maybe in some way that fills in the gap.   There's always next year...

Now stop reading and go do something nice for someone!

R.S.V.P.

These four letters are making me crazy right now so I decided to take out some of my frustrations by writing a post dedicated to educating us all on the importance of the R.S.V.P.   I'm not excluding myself from the group of offenders who have ignored the R.S.V.P.  I have been guilty as well.  Now, however, I have a new respect for the R.S.V.P. and its importance with regard to event planning - especially when there is a limited guest list and someone else could take the spot of a person who is unable to attend. 

A lot of people seem to think that you only need to R.S.V.P. to something if you plan on going.  WRONG!  R.S.V.P literally means "répondez, s'il vous plaît", which translates from French to "please reply."  There are situations where a host might say "R.S.V.P., Regrets Only."  If this is specifically written then the host is assuming all guests will attend unless you let the he/she know otherwise. 

For the love of God, Please Reply to your host!  There are details contingent on your response.  The host may have an alternate guest in mind if you are unable to attend.  If it is a seated dinner, the host could be spending anywhere from $40 - $150 a plate and must budget and work with the caterer to prepare plates according to attendance.  If it is a buffet, or cocktail reception, the host is still spending money per person and also must give the caterer an idea on how much food will be needed.  Seating arrangements also depend on responses if it is a formal sit down event.  Bottom line:  RESPONDING IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO!

Etiquette rules followed in most Western cultures require that if you receive a formal, written invitation, you should reply promptly, perhaps that same day. The new Emily Post's Etiquette, Emily Post & Elizabeth L. Post, Funk & Wagnalls, 1975, tells us that "Anyone receiving an invitation with an R.S.V.P. on it is obliged to reply...." and some recent editions describe breaching this standard as "inexcusably rude."

HERE'S THE REAL DEAL:  it is a simple courtesy to respond to someone who was nice enough to invite you, even if it is to say that you regret that you will not be able to attend.  Just let them know, either way.

**Another little Etiquette tip:  Outer vs. Inner Envelopes

Outer envelopes are for the address, Inner envelopes indicate who is invited.

For example if your inner envelop says:  

"John" - only John is invited

"John and Guest" - then John is invited and has the option to bring a guest

"John and Jane" - John and Jane are invited - if they have kids then the kids are NOT invited

"John, Jane, Suzie and Billy" - John, Jane, Suzie and Billy are all invited (assume Suzie and Billy are the kids)

Most people hosting an event put a lot of consideration into the guest list. I suggest people not be offended if you weren't given the option to bring a guest or your children.  There could be budgetary reasons for not including unknown "plus ones" or children, depending on the event.  If you are offended that you can't bring your new girlfriend or kids with you, you can always take the high road and politely decline the invitation.  

Random Acts of Kindness Week

"You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've been thinking about this topic a lot.  I recently started following another Lesley's Blog wherein she discussed this very thing.  (Thanks for the inspiration, Lesley!)  A friend of hers decided to do random acts of kindness to celebrate her birthday - one act of kindness for every year of her life.  I loved the idea.   I am reminded of this again when I saw on Twitter today that this is Random Acts of Kindness Week (Feb 13 - 19). 

At a time when its easy for me to be caught up in all my own business, I want to challenge myself to work on at least 5 random acts of kindness a day.  I truly believe kindness sends positive energy out into the universe and is good for the soul.

To challenge yourself and get ideas, visit:

http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/