Remembering Mom

When this day rolls around every year, depending on where I'm at in my life, I have a different reaction.  I always think about my mom and continually miss her.  Even after all this time, some days are difficult (read: day before my wedding, when I had a little "I-want-my-mother" breakdown).  Other days, I feel like she's with me still.  Like when I think I've ruined something or messed up in some way, I hear her voice in my head.  When I was 8 or 9 we went to the store and somehow I spilled liquid laundry detergent all over myself and the floor.  It was a BIG mess and I felt terrible because I thought I had ruined my private school jumper and my mom's shopping trip.  She looked at me with my head down and tears in my eyes, smiled and said, "Its ok, Lesley.  Little girls can be washed".

Last night, I ran across the letter below and it gave me loads of comfort heading into this day.  I have always believed I would see my mom again. Until then, I like the thought she will be there waiting for me on the other side.

A letter written by Benjamin Franklin to his niece on the death of his brother February 23, 1756:

"I condole with you. We have lost a most dear and valuable relation. But it is the will of God and nature that these mortal bodies be laid aside when the soul is to enter into real life. This is rather an embryo state, a preparation for living. A man is not completely born until he is dead. Why then should we grieve that a new child is born among the immortals, a new member added to their happy society?

We are Spirits. That bodies should be lent us, while they can afford us pleasure, assist us in acquiring knowledge, or in doing good to our fellow creatures, is a kind and benevolent act of God. When they become unfit for these purposes, and afford us pain instead of pleasure, instead of aid become an encumbrance, and answer none of the intentions for which they were given, it is equally kind and benevolent that a way is provided by which we may rid of them. Death is that way.

We ourselves, in some cases, prudently choose a partial death. A mangled painful limb which cannot be restored, we willingly cut off. He who plucks out a tooth parts with it freely, since the pain goes with it; and he who quits the whole body, parts at once with all pains and possibilities of pain and diseases which it was liable to, or capable of making him suffer.

Our friend and we are invited abroad on a party of pleasure which is to last forever. His chair was ready first, and he is gone before us. We could not all conveniently start together; and why should you and I be grieved at this, since we are soon to follow, and know where to find him?"

Mom and I before one of my dance recitals - circa 1987

Chili Cook-off Confidential

I learned a dirty secret at the chili cook off a couple of weeks ago.  Let me start by saying, It was a good time and I worked very hard on my chili.  The way I cook it is simple - I come up with my very own base recipe and the day of, I tweak it depending on how its tasting.  So this involves a lot of sampling and adding ingredients as necessary.  I was very happy with my finished product.  Here is a pic of me hard at work (notice the sign that says, "badass chili located here"):

So anyway, as we were awaiting the results of the chili cook-off, my friends and I started talking to a group of men proclaiming they were this year's winners.  The results had not yet been announced.  Sure enough, this group ended up taking 1st, 2nd, 4th, and a few other places all in the top 10.  So what is the dirty secret?  According to these guys, they use a mix purchased off the internet.  Each one of them does a little something different to their pot of chili so the judges don't taste the exact same thing.  Yet the judges ARE tasting the exact same chili mix with only minor differences.  I was informed by the winners, the way to win chili cook-offs is consistency and the best way to be consistent is a mix.  

I have to admit, I was disheartened by this bit of news.  I thought the whole point was to come up with an original recipe.  I think using a mix defeats the spirit of the competition.  But what do I know?  These guys were going to the competition in Terlingua so obviously they are doing something right.  Still, I cannot, CANNOT, bring myself to use a mix in the next competition.  It just doesn't feel right.

At the end of the day, we made it to the finalist table and got an honorable mention for our chili submission.  I consider this a moral victory - since I DID NOT USE A MIX.  I was incredibly excited we made it that far.  Much better results than last year. One day, I will claim victory at the State Fair Chili Cook-off!

Now here is a picture of the pumpkin I painted for our front porch  ( I actually did this by hand):