10 Reasons I will never, EVER, buy another house:

1)  Yard work.  I hate it.  You may have seen my blog posts about gardening.  I do like gardening - but you can have a pot of tomatoes or a raised bed anywhere.  You don't need a yard for that.  I'd rather dig my eye out with a spoon than trim another Crepe Myrtle.  I'd love for someone to come remove all of mine.  Or poison them.  Whichever.

2)  Disposal Repair.  This is one of the most disgusting tasks ever.  Mine breaks every other week when I make the egregious error of throwing a vegetable peel of some sort down it.  My disposal says, "Aw, HAIL no" and refuses to work any further.  This leads to a backed up sink, plunging, draining and snaking.  I want  back the days when a maintenance man would deal with this situation.

3)  Foundation drama.  I had the misfortune to buy a home in a part of Dallas, Texas where the ground moves. every. freaking. day.  I swear every other house on my street has a sign out front of some foundation company that's doing work.  We actually benefit (if you can call it that) by owning a pier and beam rather than a slab.  So instead of my foundation work costing 15K, it (only?) cost me 6K.  Yay!?
Bad news?  Texas has zero regulation on foundation repair companies.  Hell, I could start a business and say I do foundation repair.  I might just do that. 

4) Size. So everything's bigger in Texas, right?  That's why my household of 2, plus 3 dogs, needs 2400 square feet of living space - Of which, we've somehow managed to fill every nook and cranny.  If there's an empty counter space, then by God, we need to set something on it.  I absolutely cannot stand it.  I'm currently trying to figure out how to downsize EVERYTHING.  Somehow the brother I don't speak to can cram his wife and four children in a 1000 square foot town home.  That's 6 living, breathing human bodies in 1000 square feet.  Why do we need 2 times that? 

5) Cleaning.  This goes along with #4.   Look I'm a pretty clean person.  In fact, a little OCD at times.  I would love for my house to be perfectly organized and smell like pine sol.  How can I manage to do this when I work full time and have outside activities that keep me occupied?  Simply, I can't.  It would take me no time at all to clean my apartment but the house is too much.  I've entertained the idea of getting some help with the cleaning work.  For a house my size, it would cost at least $125 for someone to come once every 2 weeks.  That's $250 a month, roughly 3K a year.  I can go on a trip for that kind of money (which I'd much rather do).

6) Cost.  In no way do I think the cost of owning a home beats living in an apartment.  People like to talk about equity.  Equity is a word mortgage brokers use to con people into home ownership.  Whatever money you supposedly build in equity, you're putting right back into your home with all the upkeep.  Having a handyman and someone else to maintain the common areas is worth whatever "equity" I have in my current home.

7) Vinyl Siding.  Do yourself a favor and keep the hell away from this crap.  Many a time I've had to climb up on my roof to put the siding back in place after a strong wind or storm blows through.  J won't climb up on the roof because he's scared of falling.  The last time I had to do it, I made him hand me a bunch of nails and I spent a good hour banging away with a hammer to make sure it never moved again.  Its junk and I don't want any part of it.

8) Pest control.  There was a snake - a SNAKE - in my yard one time when I was forced to rake leaves.  I took one look at it, screamed and ran into the house where I promptly locked the door on J and all the dogs.  Granted I think it was a grass snake but I know for a fact there are at least 12 different kinds of poisonous snakes in Texas.  I need to live in a setting where my chances of encountering one of these are slim to none.  Also, in my apartment, a nice note would appear on my door every few months or so, that said they would be in my apartment to spray for bugs.  Now I have to pay for someone to come make sure I don't have roaches, termites, and other such vermin.  I just want the nice note!

9)  Mail delivery.  At my old place, the office folks would sign for all the packages.  When something went missing, I could direct my wrath at the apartment complex if needed.  But I actually had great success with receiving my packages during my apartment dwelling days.  Nowadays, its a different story.  I ordered some medication for my poor, arthritic pug.  When I checked the USPS, it said they were delivered when in fact they were not.  I set up a claim with USPS (truly a worthless endeavor) and wrote a note to my mail carrier about the mishap.  Almost a week later, whoever opened the package must have realized they didn't want to keep the arthritis meds, and finally put it back into the hands of the post office. 

10) Getting rid of the Damn Thing.  Now that I've realized home ownership is not for me, I've also come to the very disappointing conclusion that I'm stuck with it.  Ah the days when I could simply turn in a notice and be gone!  Now, its a freaking ordeal to get rid of it.  Because we did an FHA loan, we're prohibited from selling the house until the end of this year.  On top of that, You have to make it look all nice and shit so someone will actually be interested in buying it.  This means I have to finish painting and decorating (which I have SO much free time to do).  Nothing but a hassle. 

I realize this was a rant but I honestly feel if I had it to do all over again I'd tell myself, RUN, don't walk, away from this home buying business.

Just because I need a little Beckham today...

I didn't want everyone to think that I had stopped being obsessed in love with Beckham.  So here is a picture for all you people that were worried about it.  It just makes my day better.

When I feel like and have time to write again, expect exciting posts on my upcoming birthday bash and the return of the State Fair Chile Cook-off.  Riveting stuff, people!

Busy Bee

I can't believe its already February.  Looks like this year is going to go by as fast as last year.

I've been busy working on some very special projects, all of which have kept me up until midnight or later the past few days.  I'm hoping that doesn't last too much longer.  This gal needs her beauty sleep!

My obsession with David Beckham continues.  This little gem is actually quite funny:

Also I got this new case for my iphone.  It is waterproof, snowproof, shockproof, and dirtproof.  It is also lightweight.
Seriously.  Badass.  Go get one so you don't jack up your iphone.

fin.

Self Torture

Why did I decide to quit drinking at one of the most stressful times in my life?  This is the question I keep asking myself.  You could say I like a good challenge.  Or you could say I'm a glutton for punishment.  Either works. 

I started the Tracy Anderson 30 day method 10 days ago.  I stopped drinking to do the method.  In fact, all I'm drinking is water.  No caffeine, no alcohol...just plain ol' h20.  The first two days I thought my head was going to explode from the massive headache I had.  But it went away.  Last Saturday I wanted to drink in a bad way but talked myself out of it.  The Conversation in my head went something like this:

Devil:  Just one glass of wine won't hurt.  You've been so good all week.
Angel: No.  You made a commitment to 30 days - no alcohol.
Devil:  Meh...its been, like, 8 days already.  One drink won't hurt. 
Angel: There are a lot of other things to do besides drink.
Devil: Anything you want to do would be so much better with a glass of wine.
Angel: Wine is just extra calories. You don't want extra calories do you?
Devil: Ok, scrap the wine and have some vodka. 
Angel: Vodka is just as bad. 
Devil: Vodka is practically like drinking water.  Its clear.
Angel: Vodka is NOT like water and you know it!

Long story short, the Angel on my shoulder won.  Mainly because I couldn't fathom doing my 2 hour workout hungover.

The Tracy Anderson Method is good.  I like the work outs.  The most challenging thing is the food.  You have to prepare EVERYTHING from scratch.  I have probably eaten more fresh fruit and fish in the last 10 days than I did all last year.  This diet is not for the poor either.  I think they know me by first name at whole foods. My former drinking money is now going to purchase things like leeks, beets, shallots, cod, salmon, etc...

My friend had a birthday Tuesday so I stopped off to get her some Sprinkles cupcakes. (further evidence that I am into self torture)  It crossed my mind to eat the whole box as I drove to work but I restrained myself.  To make it worse I didn't go out to celebrate with her because I'm not drinking.  I thought to myself, this is the worst, most terrible idea I have ever come up with.  On Tuesday, I dreamt about cupcakes and vodka (in no particular order).

On top of all of this, I'm trying to buy a house before the end of the year and keep my job from spinning out of control.  Just pile it on...

But now its Thursday...and the two week mark is in sight.  I have a feeling if I can make it to Sunday I will have won the battle for the most part.  I'm tired but I feel like my body is getting a much needed break from my bad habits.  I woke up yesterday morning and my liver had written me a thank you note.  Ok not really but I feel like it would if it could.